Earlier this week I was hinting about some big news but I wanted to wait a bit longer to ensure that it was all official before I said anything. Now that everything is done and paid for I think I can finally share.
I’M GOING BACK TO SCHOOL!!!
I graduated from another UC college in 2004, but I didn’t enjoy the experience and while I have a degree it’s pretty general. I’ve always wanted to go back, but it never seems to be the right time and I struggled with what to study. I’ve always loved writing and design (interior/graphic) but my logic brain always told me not to do it, making a living would be too hard. Thing is, it’s a passion I always dreamed about; and, this journey is about starting over, living the life I’ve always imagined. I started taking classes at a local community college when I was living in Orange County, but couldn’t continue them once I moved because the classes weren’t offered near my new home. However, UCLA offers extensive online classes through their continuing education program which is perfect for me. It’s cheaper than standard tuition, I can do most of my classes online, and then down the line attend a few in person if necessary (it’s not too far). They also offer a design certification that I may pursue in the future.
So next month I’ll be starting classes to obtain my Creative Writing Certificate with an Emphasis in Fiction from UCLA.
I am beyond excited about going back to class again, and not only because it justifies a shopping spree at Office Depot. Although I am pretty excited about that since I have some sort of stationary addiction.
To be completely honest, I’ve been keeping a little secret from the blog that is a bit of a downer. I was desperately hoping to be laid off recently and was more than upset when it didn’t happen. I’m aware that this sounds odd, but it’s the truth. I can’t afford to quit right now, but the severance would have given me the buffer I needed to get out of a job that has made me very unhappy for 5 years. The new project at work is a nightmare and I’m incredibly miserable. I spend everyday in tears, have had several anxiety attacks, severe headaches, and I dread going to bed each night because as soon as I wake up I have to start all over again the next day. While it has a few perks (i.e telecommuting, decent pay), this job has been the catalyst for everything bad in the past 5 years (including the weight gain, eating disorder, solitude, sadness, and guilt over hating my job but constantly watching others be laid off when I wanted out) and it’s getting worse. I don’t talk about any of this with really anyone because everyone is fighting their own battles, many (at work) like to use me in which to vent without reciprocating, and I get tired of well intentioned people telling me how great this ‘new challenge’ is for me. So I end up wallowing in the pain alone and it’s eating away at me. No one should ever be this miserable on a daily basis and I can see the nervous breakdown closing in around me.
I’m not a fan of those that complain about how terrible things are but take no action to fix it. Starting school again is a way for me to get out. It’s a way that I can take action and somehow take back the control which my job has stripped from me. Hopefully I can find some other options to bring in some money over the next few months which will give me the opportunity to quit because I’m not sure I can handle this much longer. I don’t know if this means that ads will begin appearing on the site, though it is an option that I will be considering to help pad the piggy bank. I do plan to keep up with the blog regardless of what’s going on because it’s an outlet for me and I truly enjoy it. It’s a place away from the misery of daily life where I can be me (I promise to keep the downer posts to a minimum).
In fact, I have a few fun projects that will be up in the coming weeks. I’ve built a potting bench for the backyard and made some progress on the garden. I’ve also found a cheap alternative for a workbench in the garage and it’s been installed. If it hadn’t been raining this weekend I would have the posts ready sooner, but the potting bench finish needs to fully cure for several days before handling rain and it’s in the garage blocking the workbench. I also plan on finishing the Eco Challenge, though it may spill into April since I’ve missed a few days here and there.
It’s all a step in the right direction. Aside from the depressing turn to this post, I’m extremely excited about school and can’t wait to start in a few weeks.