I recently realized that I didn’t tell many people that I was turning 30 this month. As the day neared, I started telling a few people, but for some reason I kept it to myself most of the time. That struck me as odd since I wasn’t having a problem with turning 30 at all. In fact, I was looking forward to it.
Growing up, I was (and still am) told that I’m an old soul. I matured far beyond on my years at an early age when I had to deal with some severe bullying in junior high. You learn very quickly who you can and can’t trust when everyone turns their back on you, including friends and teachers you’ve known nearly all your life. You also get a very real lesson in what trust means to you. It made me realize that I had to rely on myself going forward so I became much more responsible and logical than I ever wanted to be at 13. It’s no coincidence that several of my friends over the years have referred to me as the ‘voice of reason’.
Perhaps this helps explain why I finally felt that I was catching up to my years when I approached 30. Turns out I was incredibly excited about turning 30 and ‘starting over’. I did NOT enjoy my 20’s at all, in fact even though I accomplished some major life goals, I can count on one hand the years I felt happy in my 20’s. I was torn between the part of me that desperately wanted to be a care free twenty something that made mistakes and experienced life, and that part of me that had the responsibility gene so ingrained over the years that I side stepped any fun. Looking back…
Here are some of the big moments from my 20’s:
· Celebrated my 21st birthday with my family in Vegas
· Graduated College
· Found a job that I’ve now been with for nearly 7 years
· Moved into my first apartment (with no roommates!)
· Experienced both Love and Heartbreak
· Started taking vacations solo (meaning without the parentals, although I do still occasionally vacation with them as well). This felt like such an adult thing to do at the time.
· Mourned the loss of 2 grandparents, an uncle, and my first dog (tear)
· Watched nearly every single one of my friends get married and/or have a baby
· Adopted my current little pup (there was also a cute little hamster in there as well)
· Finished my first Half Marathon & Took a road trip along the California Coastline
· Bought my first home
· Came to the unfortunately realization that I did not like the person I had become, and found disappointment in what I feel were a lot of wasted years
· Started back on my journey to happiness and started a blog
At some point I realized that I have been making all my life decisions based on what I am supposed to do, not what I want to do. This was an incredibly disappointing realization since I thought I was doing everything right, and here I find myself having accomplished ‘classic’ life goals (i.e. college, job, house) but instead of being proud, I found myself incredibly unhappy.
So here we are…starting over…at 30 and I couldn’t be happier to be doing so. Granted I feel a little behind in some ways since I have a need to go back and do some things over (i.e. school, job), but I plan on enjoying this journey so much more this time around. Plus I can’t deny the fact that I’m in a much more secure place in my life now to support my hobbies and dreams.
One of the most popular questions that I get when telling people I turned 30, is whether I did a 30 before 30 list. I actually considered doing this, but I was only about 6 months before my birthday and felt incredibly overwhelmed with trying to get 30 things done in 6 months. So I decided to scrap the 30 before 30 plan and do my own thing…
30 IN 30!
I just finished the list this evening so I’ll write it up as a separate post in the next few days.
Have you done a 30 before 30 or other life list? I’ve been keeping a ‘Life List’ since I was little, but the 30 before 30 was a new concept to me. Please feel free to link up in the comments section if you’d like to share your lists!